Humour: TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

A catty take on the dia(?)logue that I had with someone on the phone.

SHE: Hello, is that you, Sundari?

ME: Yeah, who…

SHE: (Name) How are you? Heard that you all went to Goa. How was your trip?

ME: Wonderf…

SHE: Heard that you have got a car too. Congratulations. What then? How are Venkat, Vinitha and Vignesh?

ME: They are…

SHE: And then you know how busy it is during Navratri. My husband and I just don’t have time for anything. I kept Golu. But it is so difficult to call people and give them haldi kumkum. There is just no time. Either he has to be home or I have to. Today I had to go to the market and buy everything. Somehow I managed to keep the Golu and everything. Then, I thought the other day also I wanted to talk to you but I could not. Venkat spoke to me and kept the phone. So what else?

ME: I…

SHE: You know these nine days I dress up in different saris. I wear cotton saris in the morning for making the prasadam. I will never wear a nightie while doing this. Then there are the nine silk Kancheepuram saris that I have kept aside to wear to the school I work in. You don’t know how everyone admires the way I match everything – the sari, jewellery, bangles and everything. I get so many compliments. Some of the kids are so fascinated with the matching colours and keep coming to me and commenting on them. It’s really so nice. How about you?

ME: I try…

SHE: Then you know in the evening, there is this ground behind our house where there is a dandiya raas conducted. I don’t take part in the dance but go there for the aarthi. I don’t go in the same sari that I wear to work. I wear a different sari in the evening. I have already kept 27 saris aside for the nine days. Then there is the prasadam to prepare. I really enjoy doing all this. When will you be able to come?

ME: Let me….

SHE: This is the problem you know. I go to work and then there is just no time to invite anyone home. I give haldi kumkum to whoever comes home. Even today a few people came. Otherwise I have to rush to work every day.

ME: What about Monday? It’s…

SHE: I don’t have holiday. The school is working. And with exams approaching, I just don’t have the time to do anything. I don’t know how to invite anyone at all. What other news?

ME: We…

SHE: With the exams approaching, we are both so busy with the tuitions and everything. On Sunday, my sister-in-law and her family will be here for lunch. Then on Monday, on Dassera, we have to rush there. I don’t know when I will be able to accommodate you. When will you be able to come? And you did not tell me, how are Vinitha and Vignesh?

ME: Vin…

SHE: This is the problem you know. Doing everything, running around, managing the market work, doing the cooking, going to work and all. I just don’t know what to do. You are not saying anything. What other news?

ME: I…

SHE: Ok, Sundari. We have been talking for so long. It was so nice talking to you. Bye.

ME: (Staring at the telephone receiver that has a ring tone now) ?????